Monday, July 18, 2011

Kids, plan a reasonable wedding.

I wrote this really long blogpost today while at work to put up tonight. Then when I got home, I realized it was not nice to air ALL my kids' dirty laundry. So I will give you a shortened version.

Let me tell you why I think our daughter, Samantha, should plan a reasonably priced wedding. Including a dress she can afford.

First I want to say, I know there are many dresses well-worth $1000 and more. I watch “Say Yes to the Dress.” LOL! The one Samantha wants is not one of those. It is cute. That is why she likes it….it is cute. It is a pretty ivory, eyelet cotton sundress. A very simple design. It IS pretty. But I think a $1000 dress should be stunning, gorgeous or even beautiful. It just should be more than “cute”.

Now, on to the non-dress spending.

Samantha graduated in November 2010 with a degree in advertising. Since then, she has been working a part time job... 2 or 3 days a week. She is not even looking for a full time job because she does “not want to work full time.” She is happy with the money she makes and she hasn’t asked us for any, so more power to her.

John just got his journeyman certification in May as an electrician. He has worked for several companies while getting his certification and is now working for a company he would like to stay with for a while. However, he is doing contract work, which does not have regular hours. One week he got 27 hours. He wants to work more and is hoping that he will keep getting more.

John is more realistic when it comes to money. He says they need to save up to move from their current apartment, then save to have a small wedding. They currently live in an apartment that is not ideal, but cannot afford to move.

Samantha does not have a car. She bought a scooter, since she cannot afford to get a car. Not enough money and really bad credit.
They adopted 3 dogs. Yes, 3. They do not have any savings in case something happens to the dogs. We all know that pets get sick and you need to be able to take care of them.

So, those are a few of the reasons I think Samantha should try to plan a more reasonably priced wedding. She cannot afford an expensive one. And if anyone gives her money for a wedding gift, it should be going toward living expenses, not a party.

There, I don't feel so bad about airing a little dirty laundry. LOL!

When you have a lot of money and want to have a huge wedding, more power to you. When your parents have the money to throw a big shindig, that is wonderful. When you have niether you plan accordingly.

That is just my opinion, of course.


Anonymous said...

I still apologize to my mom to this day for the HUGE wedding I had in 1988. Yes full Princess Diana dress with the huge train, 8 bridesmaids, huge reception. We divorced in 2000.

My second wedding was a simple thing with just us, the kids, my mom and my sister. Wore a dress I had.

My niece is getting married in two weeks and I am impressed with her sense. She spent about 150.00 on her dress and her girls are wearing sundresses of there chosing as long as they are yellow. Her reception is at the vfw hall. My other niece is having a huge affair in 8 months. She asked my daughter to be in the wedding but my daughter had to decline because the bridesmaid dresses cost 850.00!!

I hope she come around.


Annie Jones said...

I agree. I already told you how small Shane's and my wedding was. My daughter's and son-in-law's was as small or smaller. They have an ordained friend (her best friend), so he performed the ceremony for them for free and they had a couple of friends for witnesses. They all went out to eat afterward and that was the entire wedding.

My son-in-law's mother insisted on a reception a couple of months later, despite the kids' wishes to not have one. Shane and I wanted whatever the kids wanted, so son-in-law's parents paid for the entire party since they were the only ones who wanted it.

slugmama said...

Uh oh.....I saw your post title and I knew the Sh%& was hitting the fan.lolol

They are obviously in no financial position to have a big wedding....heck, I don't think they are in a financial position to even get married but that's just

Those 2 need to seriously sit down with a neutral party/financial type person BEFORE they get hitched and get on the same page with the money stuff.
I love dogs but you are right about them being expensive. They sound like they barely have enough to support themselves, let alone 3 dogs.

20 something and doesn't want to work more, but can't move because they don't make enough/have irregular income hours and bad credit?
They really need to get the stars outta their eyes and look at what they could be heading into financially. I'll pray they see the light soon. ;-)

When Hubs and I got married, he was a graduate student and I was a waitress heading to graduate school the next month. I made my dresses as well as the bridesmaid dresses. His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner(very reasonable place), my father paid for the reception(in the church basement, no liquor, no full dinner, just cake, punch and light appetizers). A few flowers and bouquets, tux rental, buttonieres, fee for organist and preacher were on our dollar. And there was no honeymoon because we had no money for it. I can safely say that everything total was under $1K.
It was a very nice affair for so little money. It was enough.

McVal said...

I am right there with you! My son and his fiance are planning a wedding in October, have no money and no good jobs. I'll be making the dresses. They're planning an outdoor wedding.. Yeah - in October... And want a dance and sit down meal. Not sure how this is going to happen unless they're Happy Meals...

SonyaAnn said...

Oh baby girl, you are singing to the choir.
I don't think that you said anything that was bad. I know this was the watered down version but have you read my posts!LOL
Don't pay for anything and when the bills start rolling in they will scale back.

Frances said...

Thanks, everyone, for commenting and your support.

There is no sh&t hitting any fans here. We have heard no more wedding plans this week. I was just giving more details.

We had a small wedding and reception too. I paid for it and it was lovely. Maybe I will tell you all about it sometime.

I think John has a much more level head than Sam. I think the stars are only in her eyes. LOL!

Terry said...

Lol! This is so true! My first wedding was like Judy described. This was in 1981 and I had the whole shebang. So not width it. We divorced 14 years later. When I married DH, we bought new clothes at a discount outlet. I got a lovely ivory linen suit and shoes for under $50. We had a small reception (that my parents insisted on hosting) at the hall in my aunts beach condo (free), my mom and sisters prepared all the food, and decorated the hall with balloons and small flower arrangements they did themselves. It was lovely. My DD married, at the age of 20, just 3 years ago, sha had a beach wedding. She is pretty frugal. We put together a lovely wedding, which, including the dress, shoes, hair and makeup, good, liquor, flowers and venue came out to a total of $4k, the cost of which was split between DH and I , DD and son in law, and his parents. We used my aunts beach condo hall (free), did our own flower arrangements, DD chose a lovely "beachy" type wedding dress on sale at Davids bridal, hair and make up were done by a local gal who does it on the side, food was done by local caterer who gave us a fantastic price ( he knows my sister). Son in laws parents purchased the liquor at BJ's, sisters did a music slide show of the couple, son in laws aunt designed a beautiful canopy for the beach ceremony, which we brought inside for the reception, my nephew who studies photography did the photography. Cost to DH and I was only $1500 !

Frances said...

Terry, thanks for stopping by and telling us about the weddings.

Lolitha said...

Whatever you share here is really good thing one of my friend got married she purchased her dress through online wedding planner really amazing dress everyone in that wedding said that gorgeous dress i asked my friend she told me this one of my affordable wedding dresses the dress looks pretty.