Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I'm supposed to be thankful for this?

This should be how my family looks on Thanksgiving Day:
Alas, that will not happen. I will try not to write a book......

Since I married Hubby, we have always gone to his parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes it would be on Thanksgiving and sometimes it would be on the Friday after. Hubby's mom and sisters always decided what day and we were told to be there. And we were.

A couple of years, the parents in law went camping and we would drive to the state park to have Thanksgiving with them. One year, SIL decided she wanted to have it at her hour away from us. Okay.....we went. Then one year, the same SIL decided that it would be at her daughter's house....over an hour away. Okay....we went.

This year, that SIL decided she wanted to have it at her son's house. (Yes, these are our neice and nephew. I am just trying to make it less confusing.) MIL said that would be great, as she wants to see his house. He just bought it about 6 months ago. Said nephew is a single guy who we don't think cooks a lot, so that means everyone has to bring all the food. Now, we all always bring dishes and don't make anyone do all the work. BUT you would expect that the host would do some of it. Like say the turkey. But we found out MIL will be making and bringing the turkey. Transporting a turkey is a lot different than a few casserole dishes.

Anyway, trying to get back to the point...Hubby does not want to go all the way to nephew's house. I don't really care to. Samantha doesn't want to and she is our only kid that will be in town that week. She asked if we could just have dinner at our place. We all thought that was a fine idea.

So, when SIL sent me a message telling me to bring devilled eggs and 2 pies, last week, I replied that we would not be coming. You would think that it is not acceptable to decide not to attend and she made some very snippy remarks. Then Samantha and her bf found out that bf's family wanted to have dinner on Thursday since it is bf's birthday, so she asked if we could eat at our place on Saturday. I said it was fine.

Well, SIL found out Samantha is not coming here on Thursday and she jumped all over me about how Hubby could just not be bothered. When I asked why she assumed that about Hubby instead of thinking that maybe our plans were changed, she got ugly asking if I even knew my own husband.

She was nasty. I tried not to be. We were messaging through Facebook, and I was responding to her very cordially since I learned long ago not to write anything down that you didn't want a judge to see. LOL!

I told Hubby what was going on and he got really irritated, since both of his sisters think it is perfectly acceptable to be rude and mean to everyone and we are all supposed to put up with it. Generally, our side of the family tries to ignore their behavior to keep the peace and not upset MIL. So, Hubby called SIL on Monday and apparently had a huge fight and told each other that they didn't want anything to do with the other anymore.

Hubby is okay with it. He is just fed up with their crap. But SIL is now making comments on FB about how our side of the family won't be at the family dinner and that Thanksgiving is all about family drama. Since Hubby and I don't tend to air our dirty laundry to everyone like she does, of course everyone will only have her side of the story. That part kinds sucks.

Oh, yeah and then there will be Christmas with the family. (Rolling eyes)

We will still have a nice Thanksgiving and we will be thankful for all the blessings that we have. But it will be hard to be thankful for all of our family.


Queenie Jeannie said...

Ugh! What a nightmare!! I don't understand why people behave like this. It's almost like they LIKE to cause all this pain. Be sorry for your SIL - she's not happy with herself and that's why she acts up like this.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, eat lots of great food, relax and relish the time with your hubby!

Frances said...

Hi, Jeannie. Thanks for coming to see me. I know that SIL...well both SILs are often just miserable with themselves. And they try to drag everyone into their miserable worlds. We just don't want to go.

Maybe they are jealous that we are NOT miserable. Who knows.

You enjoy your Thanksgiving as well!

spaghetti0625 said...

First off, that picture does not look like you and DH, you guys are MUCH younger :)

How come people can't enjoy the holidays they way they want to? What if you and DH just wanted to have a nice cozy dinner at home, alone? And to not have to worry about travelling, cooking for a gazillion people, dealing with other's people's drama, etc? Is it really a sin to want to ENJOY a holiday the way you feel? NO it's not!

at least you decided not to go. I don't get why people make such a big deal if someone doesn't come to celebrate the holidays with EVERYONE. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to do a holiday, just DH and I to enjoy each other's company since we don't see each other too often.

We have fights in our family too, mostly my mom and dad fight over stupid since I was of the age of boyfriends, I'd go to celebrate with their families lol (and they all had dishwashers so I wasn't stuck doing dishes! hahahahaha). For Turkey day, we go to my DMIl's house. It's small, DH, me, his parents, uncle and grandma. It's cozy. My mom asked the other day since I mentioned DSIL will be coming for appetizers then going to her mom 's for turkey and dessert. So my mom is like 'are you coming to your sister's for dessert' NOPE! I hated going from one house to another for holidays with boyfriends. You get nice and comfy then 'gotta go' I like to go to one place and park it...literally.

Every other Christmas, we go to Brooklyn for Xmas Eve. The ONLY bad thing about it is the traffic. 2 years ago, xmas eve was on a weekday and DH has to work (I took off, I always do to do last minute stuff). He cannot call out. So by time he got home (around 4) showered, etc we got on the road around 5. We arrived in Brooklyn after 9pm!! And everyone left around midnight. Such a pain. And this year, it's NY time and I'm NOT looking forward to the traffic!

Frances said...

Hi, Spaghetti! Thanks for your comment. It makes me feel a little better.

I really don't understand why my SILs feel the need to have so much drama about everything.

I grew up with almost no drama. LOL! My parents didn't fight. We kids weren't allowed to fights. Oh, we got into the normal kids scuffles, but we always had to make up and we did. As adults, we don't argue with each other... ever. We respect each other's feelings and rights to live as they choose.

My SILs don't respect much of anything. I cannot figure out how Hubby is even related to them.

Sorry you aren't looking forward to going to NY. We lived in Brooklyn when I was a baby. Someday I hope to go back and see it.

McVal said...

wow. I'm so sorry for your drama! I wish we had our own family Thanksgiving but mil lives with us and that can never be...
Wouldn't you just know that my pms would hit hard during major holidays? I very well may tell everyone where to go this year...

Frances said...

I don't have PMS to blame anymore. LOL! But I am not really upset over all this. It is just all the rest of the family that is. Hubby is fine with none of them speaking to him. LOL!

Hope your PMS is gone before the holidays.

slugmama said...

Just another reason why we would all be better off if we COULD pick our family and weren't stuck with what we are born into.lolol

I hope you dodge the drama that you can and enjoy a peaceful bit of Thanksgiving. ;-)

Frances said...

Hi, Sluggy! I LOVE the family I was born into and hence stuck with. I CHOSE this family.

What was I thinking??? I guess I was just blinded by love.

slugmama said...

Oh....that's different.
As Emily Latella would have said...."Nevermind".lol
sluggy-who was born into AND chose to marry into weird families.

Frances said...

LOL! I even know who Emily Latella was!

SonyaAnn said...

I'm sorry that I haven't been around for a while. I'm super sick. The bones in my head are actually crunching from the pressure. YUCK
And for the love of God, why do people say nasty things on FB?!? I've had this happen to me a few times and I, like you, took the high road. And you just want to scream.
That said when I see a post when someone gets snotty and mean and the other person says nothing or very little, I always think that the person that takes the high road has class and tact.
Or it could be all the snot talking! Keep your chin up, you are in the right!

Frances said...

SonyaAnn, don't apologize for not being around. You did warn us you were taking a break. I am sorry that your break is including feeling so rotten. I sure hope you feel better soon!


SonyaAnn said...

I'm better, well my head is. Not mentally, which means I'm back to normal.

Frances said...

Hi, SonyaAnn! I am glad you are sorta back to normal.