Sunday, September 14, 2014

How is this about anyone but Hubby?

I do not understand why some people have to make things all about them, no matter what it is.

As I told you previously, Hubby has decided that it is time to have the inevitable below the knee amputation. We have both come to grips with it and have been preparing for the surgery that takes place tomorrow.

Hubby has not told his mom. He never tells her before he has a surgery as she worries herself sick about every little things. She would do the same over this as well and he does not see any reason to do that to her. He will, of course, tell her after the surgery. He will have to...LOL! She will notice his missing leg at some point.

I was surprised that he did tell each of the kids already. He has let them know it was time and it is his decision and I was under the impression that they were very supportive.

Today we went to have an early birthday lunch for Hubby, as his birthday is next Sunday. Our 3 kids, 3 grandkids and Hubby's mom all came. The surgery was not mentioned and everyone had a really nice time.

Hubby created his ode to Breaking Bad:

That is a 58 made out of bacon, in case you cannot tell.

So, we ate and visited, then Hubby and I came home. He is now packing for the hospital. I vacuumed, cleaned litter boxes and started surfing the 'net.

The reason for my title? Our son posts on Facebook that he is frustrated with having to come to grips with some news and feels "put in a tight spot" by being asked to keep secrets. I messaged him asking if he was referring to his dad's surgery. And he was. I was SO mad. How does this become about anyone but Hubby??? Son said he just knew that MIL would be upset by not knowing. I was even madder. I love my kids, but how DARE any of them get mad about their dad sharing his news with who he chooses to share it with??? I told Son that if it made him that uncomfortable, I would see to it that it never happened again. He then did some back pedalling about how he and the girls are just worried about their dad.

Well, kids, if you are so worried about your dad, call him once in a while. Don't expect him to coll you all the time. And if he blesses you by sharing his information with you, then just pray for him and go on your way. Don't post about how you don't want to keep secrets.

And, by the way, shall I go ahead and share with your grandmother all of your deeds and misdeeds that we have never shared with her???

Okay. My rant is over.


Sonya Ann said...

Deep breath, deep breath.
I really don't know what to say about all of this. It's hub's choice and that should be the end of it. Respecting other people's wishes shouldn't be that hard. And posting on FB probably isn't the way to handle it.

Frances said...

I have tried to comment twice with no luck.....I am better today.

McVal said...

Wow! I do know some people, a couple live in my house... that have to make EVERYTHING about them. No matter what the topic...
I'm so sorry you're going through that with the kids! and I wish people wouldn't be so cryptic on Facebook sometimes! If something is bothering you, call the person directly and let them know your concerns!

Frances said...

Val, I am sorry you have to deal with people like this, too. Somedays I wish the world revolved around me, but it sure hasn't started yet.

Some people don't have that switch in their head that says, "are you SURE you really want to post this comment where everyone can see it?"

seyrey said...

My guess is that every family has some who think everything is about them. I was called selfish a few months back when I told some in my family that they weren't to come to the hospital when I had major surgery.

I am of the opinion that when someone is having major surgery things are about that person and what they need. It isn't about me or what I think. I hope your husband is continuing to progress well and will be home soon.

Frances said...

Thanks, seyrey, for stopping by and for sharing your experience. I didn't think my hubby was the only one to feel that his surgery was his business.

I hope you are doing well after yours.

seyrey said...

Frances - sorry it has taken me so long to respond back. my surgery went very well but i'll be seeing my doctor on a regular basis for the next several years and while they removed the problem there is always a chance it will come back later. I am like your husband tho "it is what it is" and so I continue on.