Wednesday, July 21, 2010

"All married couples fight."

Ummm.....no they don't.

There is a girl...well I guess she is a woman, since she is in her early 30s, I think...that has a very volatile marriage. She has told me how much she loves her husband and how they get along so perfectly. But she spends a lot of her day here at work fighting with him on the phone.....loudly. And the conversations generally end with her saying, "Fine. I don't want to talk to you anymore." Then she slams down the phone.

The whole office hears this.

Well, she spends a lot of time talking to a couple of the young men that sit close to me. Single young men. She is continually telling them that they need to get married. I don't know why she is so worried about their marital status. They don't seem to be.

But in the course of one of her conversations, she said, "All married couples fight." Then she glanced at me and said, "Right?"

I said, "No. My husband and I don't fight." She was totally SHOCKED. She said that of course we did. ALL couples do. I said that no we didn't and that I knew a lot of married couples that don't.

It is just bizarre to me that because she and her husband fight all the time that she figures that everyone must. And she has since told me that Hubby and I are weird since we don't fight.

I told her that I guess a lot of people I know are weird.

Oh, yeah, and she doesn't seem to do much work either. LOL!

20 comments:

Annie Jones said...

So many couples seem to justify their fighting and arguing with the "all married couples fight" statement. So sad.

Shane and I don't fight, and rarely even have strong disagreements. My parents, who have been married 61 years, don't either.

It's simply NOT a requirement for marriage.

Frances said...

I agree with you Annie...it is Not a requirement.

My parents don't fight either, that I know of. I know they never fought in front of us. They would sometimes disagree and might have a heated discussion, but it was never a fight.

Bubby and I have different opinions on a lot of things, but we discuss them, not fight about them.

I just can't imagine fighting with your spouse all the time.

McVal said...

What a rash generalization of marriage on her part! She was wanting a justification for her own fighting.
I have disagreements with my husband on occasion but like Annie, they're rare and usually not over anything too serious.

Frances said...

Hi, McVal. I agree with you. She is just wanting to justify her fighting.

slugmama said...

What an immature 30 something yr. old is all I can say....

Call me and hubs weird too I guess.
ALL couples disagree but all couples don't fight.
This gal seriously needs to consider that this marriage isn't the right one for her.
And then she needs to shut up her danged mouth and do her WORK!!lolol

And you can tell her I said so.....

SonyaAnn said...

I don't know what to say about this one. Den and I fight A LOT! I wish we didn't but we do. I can say that I have never seen a good marriage in my life so you are blessed beyond compare. It's sad but we talk about divorce quite a bit. I think that we just know that it is coming but we are going to stick it out for the kids. Oh well sorry to dump it on you but we don't fight in public EVER! If that helps any on this topic.

Frances said...

Sluggy, I think the same thing when I listen to her on the phone. She is just in the wrong marriage.

She works in another group, so I can't tell her to get to work. Maybe one day her boss will.

Frances said...

SonyaAnn, I am so sad now! I can't imagine that anyone would fight with you. I am so sorry that your marriage is not better. If it really is like that, divorce might be a good thing.

SonyaAnn said...

Well I didn't mean to make you sad! I wub you and would never want you unhappy. Den and I just fight a lot. Maybe it will get better when the kids get older but I doubt it. I feel like I'm always giving in and he feels the same. Not much you can do but wait it out!
Smile!

Frances said...

Well, SonyaAnn, I still think it is just sad. I wish I could think of something to say that would help. But I just can't think of anything.

I am so sorry.

yonca said...

I believe fighting can happen in all marriages, not only in "bad" marriages.Two different people are getting together and spending their life together. They might be disagree sometimes.But, words are key.. sometimes can mess the relationship or sometimes can make it better.I think, the best thing is to do is learn how to control them and think before saying.I think it gets easier to do this when the marriage gets older.

Frances said...

Hi, Yonca. Maybe fighting does go on in good marriages. I just don't like to fight.

Pam said...

I occassionally have disagreements with Bryan but we talk them out. We don't fight either. I don't understand this "All married couple fight" thing either.

Diane said...

I totally agree with you. In December we will be married 24 years and I can count on one hand the times we have actually fought about anything. It is definitely not something that all married couples do.
Blessings
Diane

Frances said...

Hi, Pam! Thanks for coming to see me. I agree that all couples will have disagreements. Heck, we can't all agree on everything. Hubby and I talk ours out as well and try to respect the other's opinion, even when we don't agree with it.

Frances said...

Thanks for coming to see me, Diane! Congrats on the upcoming anniversary! 24 years is quite a long time now days!

Annie Jones said...

Last night, Shane kept poking me on a bruise I have on my leg and asking "Does that hurt?", then laughing about it.

I asked him to please quit, but he kept doing it until I got angry and yelled at him to cut it the heck out and keep his hands to himself. Then HE got all pouty because I raised my voice at him (never mind that I was the one enduring the jabbing).

For us, that's about as big a "fight" as we've ever had. ROFL!

Frances said...

Annie Jones, I don't consider that a real fight. Maybe that is what some people are talking about when they say all married couples fight.

Now, the girl at work is talking about screaming at each other, slamming doors, throwing things, etc. (Yes, she included all the above in her definition of fighting.)

Annie Jones said...

That's my point, Frances. That it wasn't a real fight, but that me raising my voice was all it took to hurt his feelings. I can't even imagine how horrible we'd feel if we ever did get into a real argument.

Frances said...

I agree with you Annie. I think it would feel horrible to really fight with someone you love.