Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I was just reading at AllYou.com

and saw the "Marriage Saver" ideas. This one cracked me up:

Marriage saver: Outdoor stove

HE: Likes cooking with cast iron
SHE: Won't let him use cast iron on their glass-top electric stove
SOLUTION: "My husband really wanted an outdoor gas camp stove, so for Christmas I got him one. Now I let him buy as much cast iron as he wishes. It may be extra money, but it is well worth the price if it gets him to cook once in a while!"—

What cracked me up was the "..I let him buy...." Now, I know that a lot of us girls take care of the finances, but I just wonder why an adult needs to be allowed to buy something?

Of course, if finances are tight, purchases should be discussed, but really.

Hubby is NOT my kid. He does not need for me to "let" him do anything.

Maybe others have a different opinion, but this makes me just shake my head.

23 comments:

Together We Save said...

Interesting... I have to say I agree. Really.

Ace said...

I just had to comment and say I get it. If finances are tight or there is a strict budget, I get it. I run the budget and if you know our background (still have a house in another state that never sold) he darn well better ask me before buying something! At least above a certain amount, I'm not going to kill him over $10-20 but if it's not in the budget and he spends more than that it could take away from something else or really hurt us if he doesn't know it's a tight month.

Frances said...

Thanks for coming by, Together We Save.

Frances said...

Ace, I totally understand being on a strict budget. Been there, done that. And I understand DISCUSSING purchases before making them. I let Hubby know when we have little leeway in the budget and he doesn't buy stuff then. When we have more leeway, he knows that as well and discusses anything over $10-20 that he might want to buy.

But I just don't consider that he has to have my PERMISSION to do it. He's a grownup. He knows that if he were to buy something that messed up the budget that something else would get cut... like gas for his car.

I guess if he did not follow my lead in the being frugal, then I might feel differently. I don't know.

Tiffany said...

I've heard "let him" from friends before always in a joking manner. My over bearing SIL took offense when a good friend said something like if the wife will let you do it. SIL went off about why would I have to let him and DH turned around and said we discuss anything we do that costs more than $20. Of course this is the SIL that isn't married and has written 3 bad checks this month. She doesn't get talking about it. Anyways I always read "let him" as we talked about it and I gave in. LOL

Frances said...

Okay, Tiffany, I can see your understanding of it.

I was reading it more seriously, I guess. LOL!

Hubby, on occassion, asks me if it is okay if he goes camping. The first time he did it, I said, "You don't need my permission. I'm not your mama." Now, he asks if we have plans or do I mind if he goes camping.

I will tell him if I mind or do not. LOL!

SonyaAnn said...

Funny! Den has a tendency not to care. He is a leap first kind of person. That said we talk about purchases first. It's the only way that we can make it!

Frances said...

Hi, SonyaAnn! We have had times when things are tight. I guess that is why Hubby's idea of a splurge rarely costs over $50. We are cheap like that. LOL!

Annie Jones said...

Shane and I discuss all purchases if they're more than $20 or so before we make them (well, except for gasoline and groceries, which are routinely more than that). We don't see it as asking for permission, either. We're just keeping each other informed.

It's rare that either of us participates in activities that don't include the other, but when we do, we always "check" first. Again, it's not so much for permission as it is a courtesy and to make sure that there aren't any conflicts with other activities we have planned.

That said, if either of us were to make a major purchase or weekend plans without discussing it first, there'd be hell to pay. LOL!

Frances said...

Annie, I am with you. I am totally in agreement in keeping each other informed and showing each other courtesy.

I guess if Hubby DID go insane and make a major purchase without discussing it, I might throw a fit. Then I would return it.

Before our anniversary, he asked me if I wanted an iPad. I told him that sure I would love to have one, and would take one if someone gave it to me, but if HE bought one for me, I was returning it. LOL!

yonca said...

I think it is not asking permission. It's just being agree about spending family money or time. We ask each other too.

Frances said...

Hi, Yonca, thanks for coming to see me.

I would like to think that it didn't mean asking permission, but I have been on some message boards where women actually discuss hwat their husbands are "not allowed" to do. Seriously! I am always just flabergasted to read something like that.

McVal said...

lol! Maybe it was a figure of speech...
My husband says, I should buy this or this. If we have the money, I say, Go for it! Maybe it was encouragement more than permission...
But she's kind of right in the sense of... if the hubby will cook, it's totally worth it!

Frances said...

Hi, McVal. Thanks for coming by.

I agree that if a hubby wants to cook, buying cookware he likes is totally worth it. (Not everyone is spoiled like me.)

Pam said...

We always discuss all our major purchases but if it is a small purchase I can't see "letting him" do anything. She could be joking. I'll have to check my All You to see this.

Stephanie (aka zoeys_mom, ZM) said...

lol, I might use the words " I let him" but dh and I discuss ALL major purchases. I run the final numbers because I am a controlling you know what but he gets equal say(even though my wording might not always seem so, lol) :)

Frances said...

Pam and Stephanie, thanks for stopping by.

I agree with both of you. Couples SHOULD discuss finances and major purchases, no matter who really "does the books."

I guess I may have been interpreting the author's comment too literally. (Though, I read a discussion recently on a message board and there were women on it that insisted that there husbands had to have permission to do a lot of things. That is just weird to me.)

slugmama said...

I'm the CFO of the Day-To-Day spending in our house. Hubs is in charge of the investing. We do joke about me being IN CHARGE of the money but it's a 50/50 deal....but it wasn't always that way. He use to be horrible with money and couldn't keep track of it at all. He wrote checks for cups of coffee!lol

We have an understanding that we run large purchases by each other before pulling the trigger. He needed a 'new to us' car' so he got one but we discussed a price point first. Otherwise, I had no say in what he bought.

If you don't have a spouse who is even remotely NEAR on the same page with money it can ruin your marriage.
It's ok to have a spender and a saver if you have talked it over and have a plan on how to handle the money together. But if 1 spouse refuses to work with the other one to handle the money I can see them turning the financial responsibilities into a parent/child arrangement....but this is NOT healthy for the marriage and they seriously need counseling.

Frances said...

Hi,Sluggy! I am the CFO of our family, too. I am the saver, to the extreme sometimes, and Hubby is the spender, not too terribly extreme. He balances me out and makes me spend money once in a while. LOL! And I have shown him the joy of a large bank balance. LOL!

I do see your point about couples being on different pages about finances so that one has to really take over. I guess I just can't imagine being in a marriage like that.

Valerie @ Frugal Family Fun Blog said...

That's interesting.... I've heard people say that before, and it always makes me shake my head.

Queenie Jeannie said...

Very valid point.

However, my husband would spend $11 if he had $10!!!! So he gets an allowance and above that he has to ask. But I ask him when I want my stamping stuff so it goes both ways.

SonyaAnn said...

I just stopped over to say hi!

Frances said...

Hi, Valerie, Jeannie and SonyaAnn! Thank you all for coming to see.

Jeannie, I can see your point, and it sounds like it works for you.