You will not BELIEVE the newest example of what a crappy parent my kids’ mother is. Our son has been out of the Army since October 1. We have not seen much of him and didn’t push it, thinking he would let us know if he needed anything. We did know that he stayed with his sister for a while and that did not work as, according to her, he was coming in late at night and waking her up. And now that she is a full time working stiff like the rest of us, that did not fly with her. So he moved out. His side of the story is a bit different, but that is water under the bridge.
A couple of weeks ago, we found out he was staying in a hotel. He said he was looking for a job and wanted to wait until he found one to decide where to live. Then he would find an apartment close to work. That made sense to me.
On Monday, I received a message from my children's other mother through Facebook asking if Son can stay with us a few days? What?!! We told had told both of our girls to let him know he could stay with us any time he needed to and when we saw him Nov 3 (we had a get together to celebrate a few birthdays), we told him the same thing.
So, I replied to Son's mom and told her all that and questioned why he was having HER contact me. She replied that she was just doing it on her own. That they were waiting for a call from the VA liaison. And he needed a place to stay for a few days. I reiterated to her that all he had to do was call.
So, Son called Bob and came over Tuesday. And we found out that the call his mom made was to the HOMELESS VETERAN’S COALITION. WHAT THE HELL!. He is not homeless. Son is supposed to receive a call within 48 hours, so we are going to wait and see what he is told. But what kind of mother, who lives in a big house, (She moved back in with her ex-husband and they have 4 or 5 bedrooms.) would send their child to a homeless shelter. OMG! I am just dumbfounded! Can you tell?? I know that her ex and none of our kids got along, but you would think SHE would stand up for her child and let him stay there in one of their 3 or 4 extra bedrooms for a few days until he got something figured out. But I guess that would not be convenient for her.
Please don't think that I have anything against the Veteran's Homeless Coalition, but I think its purpose it to help homeless veterans. Not recently separated veterans that have plenty of family who should be willing to lend a helping hand. For a bit.
Anyway, he is at our place right now. Hubby said he cannot stay indefinitely but we will work to help Son get on his feet. I say, he served our country and we will not let him be homeless. I felt so bad for Son last night. I don’t know what his dumb ass mom has said to him but he kept saying he didn’t “want to be a burden.” I told him he was NOT a burden. And he said he didn’t want to disappoint us. I let him know that could not happen. It was like he was broken. It broke my heart.
Since pretty soon after returning from Afghanistan he was having some stress issues and was talking to a health care provider on base. I think he might need meds adjusted, so found the site for him to apply for his medical benefits since he has not done that yet. Hubby agrees that he thinks that might be something that needs to be done, so he went with Son to the VA Hospital Wednesday to sign up in person and see if he can see someone pretty quickly. They only got part of the sign up stuff done as they got a late start in the day. They were going to go back on Friday, but Hubby hurt his leg, so I said I would take the day off and go with Son if he wanted me to.
Thursday, Son spent the day at a veterans job fair. He was stoked when he came back. Oh, and we have had many conversations over the last week and you know what? He does not seem broken anymore. He is positive and excited and looking or work with a vengeance. After the job fair, he spent hours submitting applications on-line.
Friday morning he got calls for 2 job interviews for next week, we went to the VA and he finished getting signed up for his benefits. We went to the local jr college so he could get information. Then we came home for a while and he got on the computer and submitted more applications. Then, we went out apartment hunting. LOL! We were busy all day and it was well worth it.
Today he went to breakfast with his mom and one of his sisters, but before they could start eating, his mom got mad at him...he is not sure why....and LEFT! Yes, he and his sister drove across town and she left. So Son and his sis went to eat. Son says that his sister said that HE didn't do or say anything that should have pissed off their mom. He was understandably upset and I let him vent when he got home.
But he went and looked at apartments on the way home and he has been on-line applying for jobs for a few hours. He it being totally productive and a perfect houseguest. He even took out the trash on his way out today without us even thinking to mention it. LOL!
He will be fine, and he will never be homeless. He is my hero
and we will happily help him. I can do no less.